In the meantime, enjoy some chubby Babiez. Torchwood Babiez.
And if you like that, pick up a copy of Chicks Dig Time Lords ;)
If there are any fics that I did not unlock (I THINK I got them all), please reply to this post and I will unlock them. Otherwise, just friend me and I'll friend you back and you'll be able to see them.
There seems to be some confusion on the Sherlock Holmes books I've been talking about since, oh, the dawn of time.
1) I am still the lead on this project. Rumors that I have left the project are incorrect.
2) We have a new publisher for the project. At this time, we are attempting to nail down due dates in anticipation of publication.
3) It is meant to be two volumes: Volume 1 will deal with modern interpretations of Holmes in media, possibly 2000-present. This volume I will be editing with Melissa Beattie. Volume 2 will deal with 1900-2000 (Yes, I realize 14 years versus 100 is a bit unfair, but, well, there you have it.
4) Some essays have already been solicited. I have spoken to several people about due dates at Chicago Tardis, and with several people about other parties they know who may want to get in on the action. We are also querrying several individuals for interviews.
5) At some point in the near future we will be posting criteria for pitches or submissions. In the meantime, if you are a Sherlock Holmes aficionado, have feels about various movie or TV incarnations, and want to pitch an essay, or discuss anything with me, Tara or Melissa, feel free to contact us via firstname.lastname@example.org. The mail remains on the site so Tara and Melissa can check it, and it forwards to my own e-mail account so SOMEONE will get back to you in a timely manner.
So, there's the skinny. There are other details that I will be getting into later, such as some of the movies/tv/characters/stories that are already spoken for, and our exact criteria (which mostly involves being irreverent and fun while still being informative)
Hope I have cleared things up and put a rest to some of the rumor-mill business going around.
- Current Mood: working
Come on, we all do. Well, we’d love to post them over athttp://investigatingsherlockholmes.tumbl
We have a submission form where you can copy and paste a rant that’s a reply to someone, or provide a link to your rant :)
No hate, no liable, no targeting specific sections of fandom (or if you do, do so kindly). But give us history related to Sherlock Holmes stories (I have a rant brewing about the bicycle in The Solitary Cyclist and how it changed the lives of women in the late 1800s). Or rant away about how much Sherlock Holmes is a bag of dicks in The Dying Detective. We’d love to see it all :)
And again, as news about the books develops, we will post it over at investigatingsherlockholmes.
We look forward to ranting with you :)
- Current Location:Neverland
- Current Mood: optimistic
- Current Music:Sweet, blissful silence
In case Tara, Melissa and I have NOT pestered you endlessly about this already: the books are going to be about various incarnations of Sherlock Holmes on screen. Movie, TV show, cartoon, Wishbone... you get the idea. It is not difinitive. It is not required to be scholarly. Just love and criticism and jokes and fun. A few essays already under consideration or accepted:
The Problem With Modern Irene, Game of Shadows is Just From Russia With Love But Watson is the Russian Chick, Mycrofts I Have Known and Loved, Nigel Bruce's Watson Obviously Has Dementia, BBC Sherlock is SUCH a Ripoff of House (I am SO proud that someone is writing this one, it is going to be epic)... you get the idea! We also will be taking scholarly as long as it's still got some punch and jazz. Also accepted: commentary on the shift in fan culture, old/new fans (are we singing camp songs together or yelling at the kids to get off our lawn?) and/or justification for how Ronald Howard's Holmes and Merriam Crawford's Watson were Totally Doing It.
1) If you pitched us something, and you sent it somewhere else, no worries! Pitch us something else, and we'll talk. Or we'll just talk, and come up with something clever and exciting.
2) If you pitched us something, or we talked to you, and you're still in, Let us know!
3) If you have not pitched anything, and want in, let us know!
Now, a thing happened at Gally that I was not involved in. I do not condone what happened. I agreed with Robbie's response to the situation, and I still worry for the person involved because they were clearly traumatized. I'd like to in some way offer my concern and apologies, but I don't have contact with the person in question, and I really don't have a right to contact that person (nor do I want to traumatize them more)
I could talk about it in more detail from my family's side of things, though I am not sure anyone would really care about the end result of that thing happening, and where our family has gone from there. But I get the feeling no one really gives a crap about that. Mostly because NO ONE. Not a single person since this thing has happened has bothered to talk to me about my family's side of the situation, nor my own personal view of the situation. Again, I wasn't there when it happened. But, not a single person has spoken to me about it before making decisions about how to continue relating to me, or not.
Not even two hours passed and a lot of people dropped me from Facebook. People who I thought were friends. Many have since stopped talking to me. People I thought had been friends. People I was in the process of having business dealings with. One of them lied to me about why they did it, and the people involved in the business dealings lied about their situation as well (I can take rejection--I don't deal well with being lied to).
There are more who have not unfriended me on Facebook, but they no longer answer my e-mails. I had a two-book situation go up in smoke. It's tiring to ride this out. It's tiring not knowing who I can actually talk to or trust any more because I have the same last name as someone who perpetrated said situation at Gally.
I am not saying I am suffering more than the person who was the victim in the situation. I am not saying I condone or excuse what happened. I'm just saying... I'm emotionally exhausted. I've also had a lot of mental health issues going on. And honestly... I can only think of two people from Doctor Who fandom who have given a shit enough to give me a shoulder when I needed it over this thing, and other things happening in my life.
We know I can't read people. I can't read body language. Facial expressions nor subtext in online communication (or lack of communication).
So: my challenge to you for the sake of my own peace of mind, and to help me make the decision on whether to even attend Chicago Tardis or not:
1) If you no longer care to be my friend, please let me know. I know some of you who have business dealings in the fandom probably no longer want your name associated with mine. Fine. Just let me know.
2) Would i even be welcome at Chicago Tardis? Do you, personally, prefer I stay home? Would you like me to just disappear?
Lastly... i am still disappointed that NO ONE ever bothered to speak to me before shoving me off to the side. No one bothered to say no, I can't have my name associated with yours, or hey, what do YOU know about this situation? How are things going down in YOUR household because of it? I feel alienated. And perhaps I don't deserve to feel like the fandom gives a shit about me. Because, really. Let's face it. My 15 minutes of popularity are over.
- Current Mood: melancholy
Ok. So I have this fascination with the Lost and Found box. Every place I have ever worked, I have been fascinated with it. Sometimes, I will go through it for entertainment. I am amazed by what people leave behind. A million pairs of sunglasses, CDs, flash drives, car keys.
The car keys thing always gets me. I have never worked in a place where there wasn’t at least one set of car keys in the lost and found. HOW DID YOU GET HOME!?? I have the same bewildered amusement toward things left in the scanner—birth certificates, military orders, hundred-year-old family photos. You name it, it’s probably been left at a library at some point.
I also have a fondness for the winter coats that get left behind. Ok, maybe it was warmer when you left than when you started out. But at some point along the way didn’t you wonder… hey. When’s the last time I had my $200 Steelers Starter jacket?
Sometimes there are greeting cards. One was a Transformers card with Optimus Prime on the cover with a lovely “missing you" note on the inside to a service member spouse. Or children’s toys. I get a little sad for the child who has lost their favorite stuffy. But I am really sad when a parent comes in and asks if we have a stuffed animal, and it isn’t in lost and found. You know there’s a child who will shortly be inconsolable with grief for a lost friend.
Then there are the bits and bobs. Pens that end up getting recycled. Barrettes and hair clips that never leave the bottom of the box. Weird connectors for devices you have never seen. And a pocket U.S. Constitution. There always seems to be one of those.
And the thing about those sunglasses and car keys and even coffee mugs and water bottles filled with liquid is that they always seem to stay there. They never go away. They accumulate. They eventually get tossed after six months or a year. Some end up at Goodwill. But no one comes back for them. They’re forgotten. They’re lost, we find them, but they’re never claimed. They never get to go home. Well, some find new homes. Any USB stick over 8 gig is fair game after a whole year of being in the Drawer of Flash Drives That Time Forgot. I once got a really cool pen that way. But… most items left at the library never go home.
Maybe I search through the Lost and Found not so much out of curiosity (though there is still that), but to visit the items relegated to that Island of Misfit Toys. To spread a little bit of attention onto those once beloved things that are now lost and forgotten. Or worse: lost and replaced.
I may be anthropomorphising. No, I know I am. But how depressing must it be, to be those car keys? You were once shiny and new. Someone never left the house without you. They showed off your automatic starter button with prideful glee. And then they left you at a public computer. And after two days of searching for you in the bottom of a bag, they spent $200 to have a new key and dongle made, and then they went on with their lives, no longer mindful of where you ended up.
Some people cared too little for the things that ended up in Lost and Found. I seem to care too much.
I am grateful to all the kindness I have been shown by friends in the last year and a half. Truly. You will never know how much. And I really hope I am in a better position shortly so that I can pay it forward to someone else who is having a rough time. You guys have been amazing and you have kept me sane sometimes.
This is the Sherlolly fic I have been teasing with all night. Sherlock needs a date for a party. Fun times ensue
He took one look at Sherlock, and the phone nearly fell out of his hand. “Oh. My. God.”
“Not a word, John,” Sherlock warned in an exhausted, quiet voice.
So John Watson did the only sensible thing one could do. He raised his phone and quickly took a picture of the disheveled detective
Inspired by this photoset by Petra Todd http://petratodd.tumblr.com/post/4176774
The walk of shame may be involved.
- Current Location:Leavenworth, KS
- Current Mood:ZOMG TOO MUCH COFFEE... WEEEEE.
- Current Music:The music playing in my mind on repeat all day
Not sure how I will handle being closer to hubs' friends, and family. I have had a low threshold for dealing with people for extended periods of time since February's breakdown. Lower than normal, I mean. Since February, basically... all the stuff that bothered me bothers me way more, and my ability to cope with it is significantly reduced.
Um, what else? I don't know. Had a long talk with my mom about my various diagnoses. The first discussion she didn't seem to be up for. She seemed to take it very badly and kind of took it out on one of my sisters. But we had a second discussion and it turned out kind of well. i feel better that they actually DID try to figure out what was wrong with me, it was just no one could agree what. I remember some testing when I was a kid with a neurologist (ok, a LOT of testing with a neurologist, including overnight stays at the hospital) and testing with the school pretty much every year up until 9th or 10th grade (i guess they just kind of gave up after that).
I was clumsy, I had meltdowns every time we went to the grocery store, I retreated to my own little world...or would talk non-stop about whatever i was interested in... I played along side other children, but not with them... I mean, kinda classic aspergers now days if you think about it, but it wasn't even a diagnosis until I was in high school. So... I guess I kinda forgive my mom for always treating me like the bad kid. Some of the stuff I was doing was the aspergers (meltdowns in the store) and she didn't know it. she just thought I was being a petulant asshole of a child (I probably was, but it was a totally separate issue).
The good word is that Asperger's is being rolled into Autism Spectrum Disorders completely in the new diagnostics manual that comes out in March or May or something (it was already supposed to be out but, well, stuff and things). So I guess we'll see what happens with that and how it changes my diagnosis. The only difference between an ASD diagnosis and Asperger's is when you started talking. I started talking on-time but my mom couldn't actually understand what I was saying until I was like four.
It's been... kinda good in a lot of ways. Getting an actual diagnosis that fits my actual symptoms. It's like... yaay, I'm not completely crackers! And it's been good finding other people who are dealing with what I'm dealing with. Sometimes we can help each other. Sometimes it's just commisseration. It's good and it's bad to hear that anxiety disorders and panic attacks are common with Asperger's and autism. So is major depression. But... it also kind of sucks because it's like... I'm going to be dealing with this forever, aren't I? I kept always waiting to get to a point where I had my shit together and where I wasn't a ball of nerves and missed social queues and not panicing, etc. I mean... Walmart shouldn't be a... THING. You know?
And I always kept hoping that we'd find the right meds for the depression and then I could function like a normal human being and all would be well. So much for that. The Paxil is helping a lot. But I still have days where I don't even want to get out of bed. Considering the depression had been utterly RAGING for like two years completely unchecked (I suspect the meds they had me on were making it WORSE)... when I finally melted down and snapped in February... I found myself wondering how I'd even managed to function POORLY for two years prior to the snap, when I just ceased function entirely. I was like a watch that had wound down. I wasn't dead, but without somehting to wind me up again, I was next to useless.
Finding something for the anxiety attacks (I was up to SIX major panic attacks a day by the time I went to Gally last February) took longer, and I'm still iffy on the Xanax. It works really well, but it makes me tired as hell. If I take two in a day, the next day I NEED a three hour nap. Which, y'know... hell on productivity.
Also finding ways to deal with the sensory issues has been a blessing. I don't even care if I look like a freak going through the grocery store with ear plugs in, or if people think I'm rude. Going grocery shopping has always turned me into a bear and now I know why. I get my prescriptions filled at the smallest pharmacy possible. Hubs finally understands what I"ve been saying for the last ten years about the volume on his video games and how jarring the noises from the games are to me, so he keeps the volume down, and I wear ear plugs.
I mean... one place i worked, every time the doorbell went off I had like a fifteen minute panic attack. That's just not how that stuff's supposed to go. Or people would intentionally walk up behind me and scare me because watching me jump fifteen feet in the air is funny and awesome. I hate sitting with my back to the door for this very reason. That and you never know who's going to shoot you over a card game. Insert ancidote about Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp here.
So... that stuff's slowly getting better. More under control. The reliance on the Xanax is still a little heavy, though. Pretty much anything will bring on a panic attack. Something loud that I wasn't expecting, something that flashes or moves too quickly (a lot of gifs do this to me on tumblr)... music that's too loud. But also stuff that I like. I mean, I think I mentioned this before, but Dinosaurs on a Spaceship had me messed up for HOURS. Even after I took the Xanax. I got super excited cos it was like... everything I"d ever want in a Doctor Who episode ever because, basically, I am twelve years old. And once I got all pumped up, with arm waving and bouncing in my seat excitement, I couldn't come down off of it. I mean, it almost turned into a meltdown... over something that I love.
I take the Xanax preemptively before I watch certain TV shows now, and that seems to help, but holy crud. There has to be SOME way to get that under control. I know people like... really like xanax and it makes them high or something (I have no idea what it does to people without panic disorders) but it makes me tired so I'd realy rather use it sparingly.
I've got this whole bucket load of other issues that've cropped up over the whole Asperger's diagnosis, but I guess I will save those for another time.
Blahh. I don't know where I was going with this. Just felt like... somehow, it was important to get out and explain to people.
We ended up having to take the dog due to... well, The Thing. Which.... she was pretty darned good. Except for the whole Trying To Get Everyone In The Lobby To Pet Her At All Times. When we got back into town she was a needy brat for a few days because she was used to having EVERYONE'S attention.
The Super Big Bad Thing that happened on my birthday may be resolved by the end of tomorrow. That would please me greatly. One less thing to worry about would be lovely, really.
The con itself went pretty ok. Saturday was hard. Noise level, number of people, etc. and I had a massive panic attack during Toby's show, so I didn't get to see more than five minutes of it. There was vomiting and xanax and sadness.
Sunday I woke up with a massive sinus infection. It was awesome. Like, seriously. I got down to the staff room and couldn't even stay vertical, my ears were being messed with too badly. I ended up lying on the floor for a bit, which basically made it look like I'd died in there. And ended up having to get someone to relieve me so I could take some Dayquil and then sleep it off. Yes. I had to sleep off Dayquil. It knocks me the eff out. Possibly better than Nyquil.
Then I had like two panels. I have no idea what I said in the first. I vaguely remember frightening Nick Briggs in the second, the Sherlock Holmes panel. So. There was that. I was hopped up, and really just could not contain my aspie level of enthusiasm for the topic so there was like... arm flailing everywhere. *head hung in shame*
I don't know. I didn't get to talk to all the people I wanted to, cos I was back in the staff lounge. Which I guess is how it goes sometimes, but it did keep me from getting super overloaded. I've always had sensory processing issues, but since my breakdown last February my ability to cope with them and to fake "normal" when I'm really actually freaking out is greatly reduced. I had an honest-to-gosh arm flapping panic attack in the bar the first night of Worldcon. I'm sure that made me massively impressive.
The launch of Outside In seemed to go well. I was a total asdfhasjdfas at the signing cos I can't actually write with my dominant hand cos my thumb doesn't work. So, um... sorry i didn't personalize anything and that my signature looks like a big schmear. Same with the Chicks Dig Comics signing. Schmear.
I dunno. What else happened. Oh, funnily enough, I discovered my name is on the back of Time Unincorporated 3. 1) I have had this book for a year. 2) It's actually FACE DOWN on my bookshelf for some reason, with the back exposed. I must be like... Lois Lane level of unobservant.
Also, I was excited to the two books I am co-editing on the inside cover of Outside In. They're both Sherlock Holmes media anthologies. The first I am editing with Melissa Beattie and the second with Tara O'Shea (who has all the Brave Starr feels with me, you see).
Then on Monday we hung out with Tony Lee and others, then drove home and got in at like 4am. Per usual.
Usually after a con, it takes me days... sometimes a week or two to get back to myself. It really does screw me up. I managed to actually come from 16,000 words behind and finish Nanowrimo this year. And I'm kind of proud of my piece. I"m sure I will look at it in a few months and wonder what the hell I am thinking, it is obviously a pile of crap. But for now I think it's pretty swell. I posted it chapter-by-chapter as I was doing it over on tumblr. The username is nanowrimagoria (yeah, seriously, no joke)... if you feel inclined, feel free to let me know if you think it is a decent first draft of anything at all. It's the bastard lovechild of CHAS and TWIS. oh yes. I went there. With some REDH at the end.