Now, a thing happened at Gally that I was not involved in. I do not condone what happened. I agreed with Robbie's response to the situation, and I still worry for the person involved because they were clearly traumatized. I'd like to in some way offer my concern and apologies, but I don't have contact with the person in question, and I really don't have a right to contact that person (nor do I want to traumatize them more)
I could talk about it in more detail from my family's side of things, though I am not sure anyone would really care about the end result of that thing happening, and where our family has gone from there. But I get the feeling no one really gives a crap about that. Mostly because NO ONE. Not a single person since this thing has happened has bothered to talk to me about my family's side of the situation, nor my own personal view of the situation. Again, I wasn't there when it happened. But, not a single person has spoken to me about it before making decisions about how to continue relating to me, or not.
Not even two hours passed and a lot of people dropped me from Facebook. People who I thought were friends. Many have since stopped talking to me. People I thought had been friends. People I was in the process of having business dealings with. One of them lied to me about why they did it, and the people involved in the business dealings lied about their situation as well (I can take rejection--I don't deal well with being lied to).
There are more who have not unfriended me on Facebook, but they no longer answer my e-mails. I had a two-book situation go up in smoke. It's tiring to ride this out. It's tiring not knowing who I can actually talk to or trust any more because I have the same last name as someone who perpetrated said situation at Gally.
I am not saying I am suffering more than the person who was the victim in the situation. I am not saying I condone or excuse what happened. I'm just saying... I'm emotionally exhausted. I've also had a lot of mental health issues going on. And honestly... I can only think of two people from Doctor Who fandom who have given a shit enough to give me a shoulder when I needed it over this thing, and other things happening in my life.
We know I can't read people. I can't read body language. Facial expressions nor subtext in online communication (or lack of communication).
So: my challenge to you for the sake of my own peace of mind, and to help me make the decision on whether to even attend Chicago Tardis or not:
1) If you no longer care to be my friend, please let me know. I know some of you who have business dealings in the fandom probably no longer want your name associated with mine. Fine. Just let me know.
2) Would i even be welcome at Chicago Tardis? Do you, personally, prefer I stay home? Would you like me to just disappear?
Lastly... i am still disappointed that NO ONE ever bothered to speak to me before shoving me off to the side. No one bothered to say no, I can't have my name associated with yours, or hey, what do YOU know about this situation? How are things going down in YOUR household because of it? I feel alienated. And perhaps I don't deserve to feel like the fandom gives a shit about me. Because, really. Let's face it. My 15 minutes of popularity are over.
- Current Mood: melancholy